britishhsdetectivehakuba:

Hakuba’s body was at war with his mind.

His body craved more, wanted less clothes, more skin; more warmth. His mind was screaming at him, telling him all the contaminates that he could be getting, that were spreading; that he was dirty. He wanted to throw up, to pull away and yet stay right where he was. he trembled, fingers tightening their grip in his shirt and for once he didn’t want to think. He didn’t want to have all these possibilities, he didn’t want to know just how badly he needed to shower; to wash his hands.

He wanted it all to stop.

His feelings, which he’d buried down deep, locked away where hopefully they’d never surface; they were rising. They broke free of their restraints and thoughts of how soft Kuroba’s hair was, how beautiful he looked all flustered, how much he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It was too much, too overwhelming, like he was drowning in sensations and needs and thoughts and fears, and he just wanted to breath.

Hakuba released his hold on Kuroba and started to slip off his gloves with shaky fingers. It was something he’d learned while petting a cat. For some reason he had no problems petting cats, as long as his fingers were washed immediately afterwords. Mostly because they liked to keep themselves clean, and also apparently those who were petting them. The cat had licked his fingers, and his mind had gone blank.

That’s what he wanted now.

He hesitantly raised his hands and then pressed them near his cheek, cheeks going dark red.

The back rubbing paused as the magician felt the other let go and start moving his hands. He looked down as well he could without pulling away too much, eyes widening when he saw the gloves coming off. The last time the detective had removed them…

No…

He didn’t move as the hands were brought up, only watching them for a moment before looking back at the other’s face, concern showing on his own. Hakuba seemed to at least be fully aware of what he was doing this time, but if he didn’t stop him, who knew how much longer that would last… But on the other hand, did he really want to keep the detective as he was right now?

The stilled hand drew back to take hold of one of the other’s wrists. It wasn’t a tight hold, nor did he pull in any way. He didn’t say anything to make Hakuba stop. Just a worried face and questioning hold.